Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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