I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
