I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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