He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
