marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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