i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
barbara walters just said penis...
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
