Ambien. No doubt about it.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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