A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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