so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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