so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
