I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Randomize
