why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
