just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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