Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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