If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
