I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
