Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
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