There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Randomize
