Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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