Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
These tits shall not be calmed
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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