I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize