I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize