I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
