Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Randomize