how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
