so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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