You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
The Olympian is in my bed
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
