Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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