I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
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I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
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Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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