whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
