He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
