you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
