No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
