u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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