why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
