i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
