I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
