I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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