Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
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