i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
