Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
