he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
