That's when you crack a 10am beer
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
