I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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