wrigley field is MILF paradise
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
