i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
