matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
