Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
