john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
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