If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
