i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
