walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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