I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
