yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
