I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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