did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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