Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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