my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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