how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
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