Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
