On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
