I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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