i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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